Realizations of Life

Imagine this: You stand at the gate to your next life, wondering what lessons it should encompass. And then, you have it. The entirety of the first quarter of your life, you'll be conditioned into a quiet individual who wants nothing more than to be a shadow cast from the brilliant light of all those around you. Then, when your set in your ways, you come to realize that's not the person you want to be Not only that, but you've reached the age where society dictates you won't be able to change. And, by some illuminating occurrence, you recognize that society was wrong. Through all the pains and woes of childhood, you've come now to a time where you have the opportunity to re-create your entire identity.

How incredible is that? To wake up one morning and realize the person you've always wanted to be is not only on the other side of a rope bridge, but reaching out to you as urgently as you reach for them? Take some time to imagine that for me.  And then realize this is only the first twist in the epic tale that your higher self created for you. This is only the beginning!

I've settled into my new home, though to be honest even before my roommate and I had everything out of boxes, it felt as though I'd lived here my entire life. The beautiful autumn weather helps as well. The trees are ablaze with vibrant reds, alive with gold and soft pinks. It brings me back to my middle school years when I had a yard and a pile of leaves to jump in. We lived in a neighborhood where every house decorated roof to mailbox for Halloween, and we were no different.

I keep revisiting this image. My sister and I setting up those wax coated bags where you put a lit candle inside. We ran around setting them up in a walkway to our front door. The leaves were so bright that year I only remember the ground as being glowing orange and red patterns, and the memory so vivid I can hear the leave crunching under my feet. 

I've never before felt whole. It was as though the missing piece of my soul was waiting for me here, in Massachusetts. Perhaps a strange thing to say about a place on a map, but I feel like I fit here. Everywhere else I was a blank puzzle piece trying to force myself into a place. Here I don't have to try.

Anyway, Halloween is on it's way and I've been thinking of dressing like a witch. The kind with red and white stripped stockings and a raggedy black dress. It's been so long since I've seen good, old fashion costumes. (Especially when it pertains to girls my age. Really girls, it's spooky lingerie.)

One of my future investments will be a good camera. On that day, I will begin to put my own photographs into these posts. :) Until next time...


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